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by mariabutnothill



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fix-It, M/M, let's ignore the ending, spn ended in 15x18, that ending was bullshit, why is andrew dabb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariabutnothill/pseuds/mariabutnothill
Summary: (Let's all ignore that ending, fuck that ending).Dean can't, won't go out like this. Not without seeing Cas one last time. Not without fighting. Fortunately, Jack is thinking the same way.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, DeanCas, Destiel, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





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**Author's Note:**

> Wow, what a shit show was that finale. Even after seeing it from all perspectives, it's still fucked up, a rusty nail? Are you serious? If they killed him in a better way I wouldn't be this mad, but they gave him a stupid death, so here we are. Jensen I am so sorry for even doubt you in the first place, you deserved better my king).  
> I should be doing my homework but no, I couldn't let this go.  
> Anyway, enjoy.

He was on the floor. He, Dean Winchester, **_the_ **Dean Winchester, was on the floor. Sam was down, too, he couldn't tell if he was hurting or not. He wanted to scream, but nothing came out of his throat.

Was that how the mighty Dean Winchester ended?

No, it couldn't be. He won't let it happen.

But it was just him, and he was outnumbered. He couldn't let Sammy die, not like that, not in a barn. And he, too, couldn't die like this, he didn't want to go down without living.

_God, I won't go like this. I can't go like this._

Where did all of his strength go? Why was he not fighting anymore? Why were his arms down? Someone's in front of him, but he couldn't pay any attention.

Thinking about it, maybe he could go out like this. At least he wouldn't live with all that searing pain that made his lungs burn every time he breathed.

Then again, what's there to live?

He bit back, a snarky comment of the many that came to his mind, but he's not there, at least not mentally. Was that how Chuck felt when Jack took his powers?

There's Sammy, though. He didn't go to literal hell for this to happen. But he was tired of fighting, Sam could take care of himself very well. There's nothing left for him.

And a light filled the room.

His heart began beating faster, was that who he thought it was?

The vamps fell in front of him, dead, their eyes burned out and smoking. Dean tried to not let out a sigh of relief when he could move his arms once again. But nothing else came back to him, he couldn't bring himself to think of any more reasons to be alive.

He didn't even try to hide the disappointed whimper that left his mouth when he saw the kid he felt was his own standing in front of them. Yes, he was so damn happy that he was there, of course, he hadn't seen him in a week —that felt like a month—, but it just couldn't fill up his heart with joy.

"Hello." He greeted, his hand shooting up the way it always did. Sam reacted first, throwing himself to the kid and hugging him tightly.

Dean looked down, and he wanted to laugh bitterly. It wasn't the same place, but it was close, way too fucking close.

Apparently, Jack could read minds, so he let Sam go and hugged Dean tightly. He wanted to break, he wanted to talk, but he couldn't. Nothing came out of his mouth, his vocal cords sewed, his emotions retreating to the back of his mind where he couldn't reach them.

"It's all good now, Dean. You can let it go." And he screamed. He screamed in pain, in sadness, in anger, in every single emotion he had been bottling up for the past month. He knew Sam was worried and tried to peek into his face to see if he was hurt, so he buried his face on Jack's chest, muffling the anguishing screams he let go from time to time.

He lost him, truly lost him. He lost his kid, too, in a way. He's mad at everyone, he's mad at himself.

Jack hugged him tighter, knowing he didn't want Sam to see him like that. "It's okay, Dean, it's okay. Let it out." Was that even his kid? Why did he feel so calm?

Of course, Jack was soothing him with his powers. _Could he even do that?_

He didn't need to be soothed, he needed to let it all out, everything he has been bottling up through the years.

"Dean…" he raised a hand to stop his brother once he let Jack go. The tears were still running down his face, and he felt his forehead hot and probably red. He cried like a toddler.

"Don't. Please." His voice was as rough as sandpaper. Was that the first time he said please?

"I huh…" Jack interrupts, his white jacket blocking his vision field so the attention goes back to him. "I'm sorry, but… I did something. I think he's not gonna be happy about it. He told me not to try anything else but... I couldn't leave him." Dean's heart jumped, and his neck turned to face the kid so fast he thought it would snap.

"What did you do?" Sam asked, his words carefully chosen because now he can actually snap them away from existence.

Jack buried his hand on the pockets of his white jeans and turned to Dean, rolling on his heels like a child. His child.

"I might have saved someone," he made eye contact with the older man, "and you know where to find him."

He didn't even wait for Sam to say something, even though he heard his brother yell at him. He didn't even thank Jack, but that could be done later.

He almost fell when he reached Baby, his hands shaking in anticipation so much he couldn't even hold the damn keys to unlock the car.

"Fuck," he muttered once he closed the door, "fuck." He repeated as he turned on the car. He didn't know in which direction he had to go; he just drove, a voice on his head telling him where to turn as if he knew the path by heart. Which was possible, but it suspiciously sounded like Jack.

He was brought back to reality when Baby began to squeal thanks to the speed, so he took his foot off the pedal and shook his head in a desperate attempt to keep his mind clear enough to make it alive.

His breath hitched when that old barn came into view. He didn't know for how long he drove or the distance, all he knew was that he had to get the hell out of the car and inside that stupid barn.

He turned off Baby and jumped out of her, not even bothering on closing the door. It was the middle of nothing in Ohio, _in fucking Ohio_ , so there was not a single problem for him.

He struggled with the door, the hinges so old they wouldn't move even as he put all of his weight on them.

"Fucking door." He whispered, hitting it again with his shoulders, only for it to fly off the hinges and let him land on top of it, but now inside the barn, thankfully.

The wood still has all of the sigils they ever painted, and he had to smile at the memories.

His shoulder burned, but he saw it as a good burn, the best of them.

But no one's there. Did Jack trick him? Did he turn into the old God? Did he want Sam alone to kill him? Take him away?

He swallowed, hard, realizing his mistake. How stupid of him to do something so ruthless, so impulsive.

Was Jack talking to Sam? Maybe he was. But, then again, he looked at Dean dead in the eye…

"Hello, Dean." He jumped out of his skin. He didn't even care if that was something else, something taking that voice, that voice he longed to hear again. He just launched himself to the owner of the voice, and he hugged Cas tightly, in a way he never did before, and he was sure he heard a bone or two cracking under the strength.

"You son of a bitch." Great, the tears came back. But he doesn't care now, he's not interested in that anymore. He knew it was Cas, the material of his trench coat felt the same.

And when Cas —finally— lifted his arms to hug him back, God, he still couldn't believe it.

Three weeks felt like an eternity.

He howled and wasn't even embarrassed by it.

Dean kept on muttering more incoherent stuff that came to his mind, losing himself in the embrace.

"Dean, I…"

"Shut up." He interrupted, and he knew it was rude and shitty, but he just wanted to remind himself it was real, Cas was real.

And he did what he never thought he could allow himself to do. He took his face between his hands, feeling the stubble that he never got the chance to shave, feeling what the years did to him, how hunting deteriorated every part of him. _Cas was back_ , and he had him between his hands. He pressed his forehead against the angel's and let out a happy, shaky sigh.

"Fuck, I…" he muttered, brushing his thumbs against Cas's cheeks. "I couldn't do anything. I thought you were gone for good."

"Jack, he, huh…" Cas was nervous, oh so fucking nervous, and Dean smiled at that. "He gave the Shadow Billie's powers, it's Death now." He cleared his throat. "And he made it promise it won't come after me… after us."

"Good. We have time." Dean smiled again, stopping his thumbs. "Cas… you're real." Cas smiled, the wrinkles on his eyes appearing once again.

"I am, Dean." He wanted to say something else, but Dean cut him, desperately trying to find his eyes in the dead of night, those blue eyes that lit up the way.

"Don't… don't you ever do that again." He choked on a sob, the tears blurring his vision. _It was time_. "You didn't give me time."

"It was the Shadow…"

"Dammit, Cas, let me finish." He wasn't mad, he even laughed, he was so damn happy and nothing could ruin that moment. "I didn't have enough time; you threw me across the room before I could tell you… that I… I, I love you." That was harder to say than he expected. He could hear Cas's heart, could feel it so close to his.

"You do?" he asked, not quite believing his ears. Dean nodded, and Cas let out a little laugh, a relief one. "Oh, that's good, that's great." He held Dean's face the same way the Winchester was doing so, and it felt so good to finally do it, to finally give in to happiness.

"Can… can I… you know…?" it was honestly adorable seeing Dean ask for permission, seeing him acting like a teenager in love. He didn't even let him finish, didn't let him ask, he just guided his lips to Dean's, finally savoring those oh so kissable lips, those lips he wanted to kiss ever since he saw them for the first time at that Sip N' Gas station; because he knew his soul was a beautiful, tortured one that deserved better, but watching it as a human for the first time was just different, more… physical, more intimate in a way he couldn't explain.

He didn't try to be as sexy as he did while trying to imitate the pizza man, and he wasn't all that sweet like Sam always expressed kisses to be. No, it was messy and needy, passionate and filled with awkward teeth clashing and even an occasional tongue bite, but was worth it, oh so worth it.

He felt Dean tightening his grip on his face and separated them, gasping for air, and he suddenly felt guilty. Still, Dean didn't let him go, instead, he pressed their foreheads together again, his breathing heavy, and he muttered something that almost sounded like a prayer.

They stood there, in silence, not daring to open their eyes because maybe it was all a dream, no other sound but their breathing and their racing hearts.

And then Dean laughed. Cas furrowed his brows and opened his eyes, finding the green ones that he kept dreaming of during his time in the Empty. "Shit, I… it really took us that much time, huh?" so Cas laughs along because there, looking back at all the time they lost by being so afraid, it really seemed stupid.

"That time at Purgatory, I wanted to tell you the truth, I really did." He heard Dean calling his name, he heard Dean asking him to come back because his life just wouldn't be worth it if he wasn't there.

Cas, I… I love you, man, just please come back, I can't do this without you.

When he came back to reality, Dean was looking at him with concern.

"You're shaking," he looked down, he really was, "your lips… let's go to Baby." Cas can't help but laugh at the name given to the precious car. He was shivering, which was new, but didn't mind it as long as he was with Dean.

They make their way there in silence, enough words being already spoken, but something else is different: for the first time, after brushing them and longing for it, their hands are clasped together, their fingers intertwined in a firm grip that reminds them to never let go of one another, a thing they shouldn't have done in the first place.

Even when Dean started the car, he didn't let go of Cas, and that put a smile on the angel's face.

When Dean turned the radio on, a sappy and sad song filled their ears, and Dean bit back a laugh at the lyrics, but still sang them in a whisper, only for Cas to hear his voice, because those words were only for him.

It's 13 hours more filled with comfortable silence, the radio, Baby humming, and stops for food.

"I thought you didn't eat." Cas stopped the burger mid-way to his mouth as he turned to face Dean. "Did Jack…"

"Said it was the only way to bring me back permanently." He answered, already knowing what he would ask. Dean simply nodded and smirked as he watched Cas devour his burger the same way he did all those years before. "Easy, tiger. You'll choke." He placed a caring hand on his wrist to stop the food from going to his full mouth. Cas swallowed and took the burger with his other hand, not bothering on getting Dean's hand off him, instead, turning it around so Dean could hold it.

At that point he didn't even care about what the others would say, he didn't care if the whole world knew. Cas was there, Cas was real, Cas loved him, and nothing else mattered more.

Still, the disgusted look the waitress gave them made him feel uneasy. So, he decided to make the most of it. Once Cas finished sipping his drink, he took him by the jaw and brought him in for a kiss, a tender one, and Cas's response to it made his knees turn to jelly.

Cas hummed happily and bit his burger again, not minding the waitress who made her way to them. Dean smirked before sipping his drink and prepared himself for the fit she was about to throw. He was used to this, though it happened for different reasons, but it always had the purpose to piss off that kind of people. And it worked every single time.

"Excuse me," Dean tightened his grip on Cas's hand. Here we go. "Some of our clients are uncomfortable, so I have to ask you to either stop doing that or…"

"Leave? You're gonna kick me and my boyfriend because your straight ass can't handle a little love?" Cas choked, boyfriend? Were they really dating now? Shit, but let Dean take care of it anyway.

They laughed for two hours after that, the last two hours of their road.

With every second that passed, a knot on his stomach tightened, how was he supposed to tell Sam about that? About them? He could already hear Sam asking why he never knew about it or why he never told him about it. If he was honest, he would say I don't know because it was simply the truth.

Dean parked and Cas closed his eyes. "Is Sam truly there?" he asked. Dean looked at him in sheer confusion but nodded anyway.

"It's been… fourteen hours or so, he should be, he was with Jack." Dean knocked the same way he always did, and they waited.

The bruise on their cheeks was the worst part, earning them for doing something oh so stupid without thinking it through. _Who was he talking about?_ Neither of them knew, but they were glad to be there.

As soon as Eileen saw Cas, she hugged him so tightly he couldn't breathe, and that had Dean laughing so hard he got the death glare from Sam.

Cas explained how he got out first, trying to answer as many questions as he could while avoiding Eileen's knowing look and her smirk every time Cas rested his hand on Dean's knee or how Dean leaned on Cas.

Then, it was time to talk about feelings, Dean's least favorite part of pretty much everything. Luckily —Dean still didn't know if good or bad—, Cas still had little to no consideration, so when Sam asked what was his happiness, Cas didn't even hesitate.

"I am in love with your brother, Sam." Sam's neck turned around so fast Dean feared it would break. "That's my extreme happiness."

"Listen, Sammy, I'm sorry for never letting you know about… my feelings.

"Dude, shut up, I've known them since I saw you two looking at each other." Eileen laughed and took a spoonful of cereal to keep her mouth shut. She knew it, too, and they never told Dean he was so obvious.

"You… you what?" how could it be possible that even before he completely knew he was also into men, his brother did?

"You're pretty obvious. Both of you. I'm just surprised to see that you're finally admitting it." Cas took his hand and Dean's heart melted again. It would never stop doing things to him.

"Dean," Eileen said, talking for the first time, "it's okay, don't worry. Nothing will change." Dean smiled, relieved, and she returned the gesture.

"So, what do you say to our vacations on the beach?" Dean asked, drumming his hands on Cas's thigh. Sam groaned and nodded, an arm surrounding Eileen protectively. "We can call Jack, right? Oh, and Charlie, she would love to take a break with Stevie."

And so, it became a sort of tradition, going to the beach once every year, reuniting the growing family.

The next time they met, their vacations were interrupted with Jack Robert Winchester wanting to go out two weeks earlier. Sam held Eileen's hand the whole time, their golden bands offering a cool relief to the searing pain she was in, and Dean passed out when the kid's head popped out of his mother.

A year later, as Jack and little Jack chased Miracle across the sand while laughing, Cas looked down at his left hand, a pretty silver band on his finger, while waiting for the beers to come. Sam dropped himself next to Eileen and passed him a beer.

Next time, Jack, Bobo —as they decided to nickname him to avoid any confusion— and Miracle took care of little Adam while his fathers took a night off from taking care of him. Having a child was a beautiful thing, sure, but it was tiring, and the bags under their eyes showed it.

It had been four years, and there they were, back, Adam and Bobo running behind Miracle, Eileen looking just about ready to explode, a hysterical Sam, Dean chasing Sam down to calm him, and Cas trying to answer the question of the three-year-old on his arms. "See, Meg, we named you after a very good friend of mine. She died protecting your dad, your uncle, and me." He smiled at the horizon, knowing she would be rolling her eyes at him. After adopting Adam, it just felt right to adopt another kid, and so they did. Sadly, Jack couldn't join them that year, but he knew Jack could hear them.

Five years in, and Dean and Cas were taking care of Bobo, Kevin, and Rowena while Sam and Eileen took their day off. Jack told silly campfire stories to the oldest kids while Cas and Dean were pretty much fast asleep with Kevin and Rowena in their arms. Claire scowled by Jack's side, clearly blending in with the rest even after all the differences she had with Castiel, and Matt, the thirteen-year-old son of the couple signed something rather offensive to Jack, who simply hit him in the head jokingly.

"Do you want another kid?" Cas asked softly, feeling Kevin drooling on his shoulder. He smiled at this. Dean looked at him deadpan.

"Seriously, Cas? Five aren't enough for you?"

"Jack is always in heaven, Claire is always away, technically we have three." Dean laughed softly, shaking his head. "And I think that Matt prefers being with Eileen so they can talk about us by signing so fast I'm not sure they even comprehend." Dean let out a full laugh at Cas's confusion, easing it when the baby on his arms began stirring. "Being serious, I hope one day he's confident enough with us to talk."

"Give him time, Cas, he's only been around us for a month." Dean placed a kiss on his husband's temple and smiled, joy filling him more than it ever did before. "He'll feel at home soon. Same way we did, eventually."

"We should permanently move to this house. This is our home."

Dean brought him in for a kiss as they watched Bobo, Meg, Claire, Adam, and Matt listened to Jack around the fire. They were truly home.

So, the next year, as Sam and Dean finished placing the last sofa, Cas smiled at the view of the kids running outside.

It was his home, their home. He was finally home.


End file.
